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Your Emotional Intelligence
October 03, 2017

Self-awareness, Self-leadership, Social awareness & Relationship management

Last month I asked you to tell me about your main challenges building a high performing team, engaging your direct reports – and committing them to you.

And I received a wide array of answers ranging from sophisticated concepts to very specific questions.

You obviously have different needs, situations, cultures, etc., because you all come from virtually every corner of the world (South East Asia, North America, Africa, Australia, etc.)

So what I did was to group your challenges by categories and subcategories. And to my surprise – I discovered that a significant part of your difficulties have their origin in the VERY fundamental building blocks of a sustainable high performance.

Many of you – by the way you position your question / situation – you seem to perceive that the source of your problem is coming from the team you lead and/or from your direct reports.

When in fact – instead of looking outwardly – you should be looking inwardly, meaning, looking at yourself in the mirror.

So …

I am going to start answering your questions by addressing the fundamental building blocks of a sustainable high performance.

One of these fundamental building blocks is your emotional intelligence.

Why emotional intelligence?

Because the higher your emotional intelligence is ...

  • the more you become resilient to difficult situations
  • the more you are able to deal effectively with a wide variety of people
  • the higher your individual performance
  • etc.

    Your emotional intelligence (EQ) is more important than your intelligence quotient (IQ).

    You were born with an IQ – and you will die with that same IQ.

    However – you can increase and improve your EQ.

    Daniel Goleman – the author who wrote the “Emotional Intelligence” book – defines EQ like this:

    “Emotional Intelligence is your capacity for recognizing your own feelings and those of others, for motivating yourself, for managing emotions well in yourself and in your relationships”

    IF you want to get the complete emotional intelligence system in order to improve your EQ, go ahead and buy the book, and/or take an institutionalized training, and/or hire a certified EQ consultant, etc.

    But …

    Since I know you are extremely busy and you want results today – I am simplifying it here for you so that you can start using it right away.

    In essence – EQ is about two things:

  • acknowledging, understanding and regulating your own emotions
  • acknowledging, understanding and influencing the emotions of other people

    All you need to do is to get into the habit of asking yourself these six questions:

    About yourself:

  • 1) What am I feeling right now?
  • 2) Are these feelings / emotions helping or hindering me accomplish what I want?
  • 3) What do I want to do about it?

    About the people you are interacting with:

  • 1) What impact am I having on this person’s feelings right now?
  • 2) Are these feelings / emotions helping or hindering our relationship?
  • 3) What do I want to do about it?

    When you begin to get into the habit of asking yourself these simple questions consistently – you start to develop a deeper awareness about yourself, about the people you interact with, and about your relationships – in a conscious and proactive way.


    Developing your emotional intelligence – as with everything – just takes some practice.

    Try it, stick with it – and you will experience profound benefits for the rest of your life.

    Questions? Feedback?
    Reply to this Newsletter and tell me what you would like future issues to be about.

    Feel free to re-send this "Leader Newsletter" to your colleagues.

    And click here to see the entire "Leader Newsletter" Archive.

    Most recent 12 "Leader Newsletter" issues:

    Your main challenge within the team you lead
    Are leaders born or made?
    Improve your team’s performance - faster!
    Your adjectives are your worst enemy
    Job Design & Intrinsic Motivation
    Communication Skill You Must NOT Lead Without
    Performance Management Made Sexy
    Are you optimizing your development activities?
    Sustainable High Performance
    5 values you must NOT lead without
    Are you really behaving as a manager?
    Wouldn’t you like to set strategic goals consistently?

    See you next month!
    Joseluis Romero - Publisher
    October 3, 2017. Copyright: All rights reserved
    I publish "Leader Newsletter" on the first Tuesday of every month
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